Yesterday on my way to church, I saw what has to be the biggest roach I have ever seen in my life. Seriously-my dad used to have a fake rubber one (so realistic that it would freak me out if I came across it unexpectedly), and this one was almost twice the size of that.
This “friend” darted out from behind the advertising that runs along the top wall of the train. He* then proceeded to dart in and out, and just when you thought he was gone, he would peek his head out once again.
The woman and her two preteen children who were sitting directly beneath this little dancer did not seem to notice. A few other women, however, saw it from across the car.
I got up and moved, as if the roaches couldn’t follow me, but then realized I had moved to a seat where he could (hypothetically) crawl along and still come out and land on me. Should I stand up? Should I move back to the other side, where I could keep an eye on that one? (Never mind the statistic I read a while back that “if you see one roach, there are a hundred more in hiding” *shudder*)
I moved again and tried to stay calm. It was at this point that a homeless man, carrying a metal rod and wearing pants that made it seem like he had reverse-peed himself (they were wet only at the top), got ont0 the train.
As I continued to look nervously in that direction, I am sure that people thought I was afraid of the man talking to himself and carrying what could in theory be used as a weapon. (It did seem kind of hollow and lightweight, though…how much could it really hurt?)
But I wasn’t bothered by this man in the least. I was infinitely more frightened by the freakishly large, nuclear-apocalypse-surviving creature who was now hidden somewhere in the crevices of the train. ABOVE. MY. HEAD. And who knows? Maybe this guy was some kind of roach-deflecting superhero…
All I know is that the homeless guy got off at the next stop. The roach, however, is still at large…hiding in the crevices over my head, waiting…
*are there really female roaches? In my mind, it doesn’t seem possible, but obviously these nasty, evil creatures have to reproduce somehow…



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